Rid Yourself of Resentment Residue

Resentment is an undercurrent of pain experienced as emotion in the form of displeasure, hurt, or offensiveness. It occurs as a result of being offended, or because one stubbornly holds on to ill feelings.

Resentment becomes deeply rooted when forgiveness is not immediate and bad feelings fester, "when you try to take responsibility for the lives of others," and when you choose to relive painful memories from past experiences.

We all experience moments of disagreement with someone over one thing or another. Instead of calmly expressing our point of view and listening patiently to the opinions of others, we sometimes become indifferent over disagreements. Disagreements trigger indifference, which, over time, can lead to resentment. When prolonged resentment subtly builds it turns in to bitterness and often results in rancorous tendencies.

More often than not, resentment prevents many from experiencing the peace-filled life they so deeply desire. Moreover, justifying resentment only sustains a hostile orientation and attracts coincident experiences that match your orientation. If you have a mental laundry list of people who have wronged you, greet some people while deliberately undermining others, and hold grudges, these are clear indications that resentment is regulating your life.

Occasionally, we utter platitudes of forgiveness when we have not actually let go of the hurt feelings. I refer to lingering hurt feelings as “resentment residue.” Resentment residue corrodes an otherwise pleasant personality, creating the belief that others are out to get you. Ironically, resentment is a storm in your mind. It is a misunderstanding that your thinking has conjured up about others.

Moreover, resentment makes you feel threatened by others; that people somehow have power to control your destiny. But no matter how “in control” clinging to resentment makes you feel, it is debilitating. Holding on to resentment is a misuse of mental energy.

The truth is, no one has any power or control over you other than that which you give them through your thoughts. You can torture yourself endlessly with a torrent of resentful thoughts that mentally imprisons you, or you can choose to let go of trying to control the behavior of others.

It is obvious that holding on to resentment is stagnating. But what is liberating is that we can remove resentment from our lives altogether. As you choose to be who you are, allow others to be who they are. As we realize that “holding on to the belief that someone has “hurt” us is itself what is hurting us we tend to let go of the hurtful belief.” Simply knowing this is therapeutic!

Notice how resentment dissipates as we realize that we can never really control the thoughts or behaviors of others. This is because we all experience life at different gradations of awareness. So, at any given time, our individual understanding or experiences and how we perceive or interpret events, varies significantly.

Remember, as volitional beings we have the ability to choose to live in a resentful past or a proactive present.